Monthly Archives: January 2013

Bigfoot

Review: Nobody loves a Bigfoot like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill

Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill
on November 19th 2012
Genres: Paranormal Romance
Pages: 260
Source: Given From Author
one-star

Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe (Book 1)

 

The Northern California town of Big Beaver has become a haven for Bigfoot, alien sightings and is home to The Phantom Bigfoot Bather. One particularly weird Beaverite, Duane, has kept the Bigfoot a secret, but to his utter dismay, a female Bigfoot abducts a teenager. Duane must use all his guile to stop his secret from getting out, especially now that MB, his close friend and crypto-zoologist, is on the trail, along with Sheriff Lou and the FBI. Can Duane keep his Bigfoot friends a secret? And what does MB discover deep in the forest?

Even though the blurb is a little bit…confusing, this book looked very intriguing to me, seriously, who doesn’t want to read a book about Bigfoots? It was described to me as a romantic comedy, let me tell you it was far from it. The book itself was well written and the premise seemed great, it was just the content that spoiled it for me, really. The awful characters were a big problem to me, never once did I find myself liking any of them, at all. How is this even possible? They were all narcissistic and just plain rude to everyone else, commenting on appearances that seemed unnecessary to the overall plot. I realise that was the point of their character to possibly be funny, but it meant I didn’t like them.
Take Duane for instance. He was a slob. I’ve got no problem with slobs, but he was simply unbearable, I never liked him, he was always thinking about getting into other women’s pants and the breast size of the barmaid. I have to say, even though he says he sleeps around with every women, I can’t imagine anyone would want to touch him with a twenty-five foot barge pole. He scratches his butt about 200 times in the whole book. I’m not even exaggerating, it was boring the first five times, but throughout the book it got intolerable. MB was pretty funny, what with his Old Indian legends, but even that grew wearing after a while. Lou was vain and had no real personality, the first introduction of her is her admiring how beautiful and sexy she was. Then she comes out with this:

“He was in his midtwenties, not too tall which made him all the more fat, cleanshaven with a rosy-cheeked, round face that told everyone he was stupid.”

Excuuuuuusssseee me? How am I ever meant to like her now? I tried, oh how I tried.
We also followed Duane who just commented on the size of women’s breasts and how he slept with half the town, and as a female, this got pretty wearing.

“Annie was quite attractive—she even had once done a swimwear photo shoot for Sports Illustrated, and relished showing off her Grand Canyon cleavage as she leaned over the counter top for her male customers to ogle at.”

Maybe I’m taking this too seriously but…isn’t that a little degrading, bear in mind this was written by a male. There were a lot of quotes like that, I could go on forever, it seemed there were a lot of characters like that, all the people were judged by their appearances, maybe it didn’t occur to any of them that I got sick of their looks being described, which was probably to conceal the fact they all had an atrocious personality. It got to the point where I was over-analysing and thinking maybe this book is really clever and reflecting our narcissistic society. I think not.
The FBI agents didn’t seem realistic and were fairly unprofessional, the whole book is finding a missing teenager and they barely do anything. They spent their whole time not being serious and chasing leads about Bigfoot.

“Duane never got annoyed with his Bigfoot friends, but today was different. She had done a very naughty thing.”

Bearing in mind a Bigfoot kidnaps a teenager- I’m not joking- am I the only one who thinks that a missing teenager is more than ‘naughty’? I know it’s meant to be funny and I shouldn’t be so pious about it but…the teenager went missing for days.
The romance also felt half-baked and kind of thrown in, it seemed unrealistic and they were both people I disliked so they could have each other for all I cared.
And the Bigfoot, I didn’t know how to categorise them, they acted slightly like humans but were animals. There were Bigfoot sex scenes, which frankly, was just plain disturbing and I couldn’t get over that. Can I unread that part? They were all called names like Teeelaaa, Maaawooo, Ooonaaa and Olaaa, it’s safe to say I got them mixed up a fair few times.
Immaturity was also a major factor. ‘Man juice’ was said a lot at the beginning, can’t you just say semen? Or at least think of a better alternative to ‘man juice’… seriously? At one point, one of them does a moon and they make a lighter fire bigger by farting into it. Wait, what? How old are these people exactly? They were grown men and women, yet they acted like eight-year-olds throughout the entire book, it got so tiring with incessant jokes that weren’t remotely funny. It was simply unbelievable and astounding the level of immaturity and pig-headedness this book contained. It took me a lot to carry on. Instead of for adults, this should have been an episode of Horrid Henry, at least then the actions would have fitted the age. If there was any irony to this book, I couldn’t find it and believe me I searched long and hard. There were some things that could have been mildly amusing, it was just the endless farting, piss jokes I could not get over, it was such a huge turn-off, I couldn’t find the other parts funny. I tried not to take it too seriously and it still didn’t appeal, not my kind of humour or book apparently, sorry.
I kept treading through this book to see if it would get better, despite wanting to stop chapters ago and came to the conclusion it only gets worse. The writing was fine, the editing was fine, it was the rest of it that I didn’t like.
I give this a 0 Stars, I simply thought it was immature and not my kind of humour, the only reason I didn’t give it lower was because the writing was fine and the initial ideas had great potential. I think Simon Okill is going to have to find a female book reviewer that finds farting/piss/ boob jokes hilarious. Good luck?

one-star

FeatureFollow

Feature and Follow

Every week Alison Can Read and Parajunkee‘s View host a blog hop, to gain new followers and friends! 
FF 2012 Feature and Follow #132The question today is:

Q:  WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE VILLAIN FROM A BOOK?

Demon Al from The Hollows series by Kim Harrison, she just has the most amazing imagination. He starts off being completely evil, and yet he tries to protect her and he also has cool powers. He’s so unpredictable, you just never know what he’s going to do.
 
What about you?

 

FeatureFollow

Feature and Follow

Every week Alison Can Read and Parajunkee‘s View host a blog hop, to gain new followers and friends! Today’s Feature Blogger is Orchid at The Haunting of Orchid Forsythia

FF 2012 Feature and Follow #131Q: IF YOU COULD CHOOSE ONE SUPERNATURAL BEING/CREATURE TO REALLY EXISTS WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY? EX. FAE { SUBMITTED BY @SEEINGNIGHT }

Oooh, this is such an interesting question, but I think I’m going to have to go with angels, because I’d like the idea that angels are around us…or maybe dragons, and a hot werewolf would be great, jeez this is such a hard question!
What do you guys think?
FeatureFollow

Feature and Follow Friday

Every week Alison Can Read and Parajunkee‘s View host a blog hop, to gain new followers and friends! Today’s Feature Blogger is Cassi at Galavanting Girl Books.
FF 2012 Feature and Follow #130

This weeks question is:What new Blogging or writing resolutions have you placed on yourself?


I need to get involved more on other Blogs, I read lots of Blogs, but sometimes I get a little apprehensive online because I can’t go by people’s emotions, so I’m not sure if I’m butting in conversations or anything. Which is the complete opposite to myself in real life! Also, I’d like to have more original content and write more, it’s hard to write when I’ve just come back from school- as I’m sure those who work feel.


What about you?
Also, I’ve got a giveaway going on!

biting-cold

GIVEAWAY: Biting Cold by Chloe Neill–CLOSED


Rafflecopter giveaway!
Guess what? I have an extra copy of Biting Cold for one lucky winner! This is the perfect opportunity, as House Rules, Chicagoland Vampires no.7 is coming out on the 14th February. This way the winner can receive Biting Cold and read it just before House Rules is released.
This giveaway is open internationally!
I loved this book, my review is here, be sure to check it out and enter the contest. The winner will be decided by Random.org and emailed around 48 hours after winning, should the winner not respond to this email after 5 days, another winner will be chosen.
Ends on the 12th January.

Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Gollancz 
Published: 9 Aug 2012
ISBN-10: 0575113421
Blurb:
Turned into a vampire against her will, twenty-eight-year-old Merit found her way into the dark circle of Chicago’s vampire underground, where she learned there was more to supernaturals than met the eye—and more supernaturals than the public ever imagined.And not all the secrets she learned were for sharing—among humans or inhumans. Now Merit is on the hunt, charging across the stark American Midwest, tailing a rogue supernatural intent on stealing an ancient artifact that could unleash catastrophic evil on the world. But Merit is also the prey. An enemy of Chicagoland is hunting her, and he’ll stop at nothing to get the book for himself. No mercy allowed.
No rules apply. No lives spared. The race is on.





a Rafflecopter giveaway

BitingCold

Review: Biting Cold by Chloe Neill (Chicagoland Vampire #6)

Biting Cold by Chloe Neill
Series: Chicagoland Vampires #6
Published by Gollancz on August 9th 2012
Genres: Paranormal Romance, Urban Fantasy
Pages: 352
Format: Paperback
Source: Bought
four-stars

 

Turned into a vampire against her will, twenty-eight-year-old Merit found her way into the dark circle of Chicago’s vampire underground, where she learned there was more to supernaturals than met the eye—and more supernaturals than the public ever imagined. And not all the secrets she learned were for sharing—among humans or inhumans. Now Merit is on the hunt, charging across the stark American Midwest, tailing a rogue supernatural intent on stealing an ancient artifact that could unleash catastrophic evil on the world. But Merit is also the prey. An enemy of Chicagoland is hunting her, and he’ll stop at nothing to get the book for himself. No mercy allowed.
No rules apply. No lives spared. The race is on.


After the events in Drink Deep, Merit and Ethan are on their journey to Nebraska, to fight Mallory for the Maleficium. She’s obsessed with the book and nearly destroyed Chicago in her attempts to get it. Even though the Order were in charge of keeping her captive, she escaped her cell and now it’s Ethan and Merit’s turn to clean up the mess.
It’s been such a delight to see Merit grow throughout the series and she’s now a character I fully root for when reading the Chicagoland Vampires series. She has the perfect balance of fighting prowess, a tough personality, yet  vulnerability that makes her a believable protagonist. After Ethan’s absence in Drink Deep, it was great to see him back, and along with that, the sexual frustration between him and Merit, as he decides to put their relationship on hold. Again. Merit decides to be mature, and carries on with her job as Sentinel efficiently, but she’s hurt by Ethan’s constant rejection. As Sentinel, she has a lot of responsibilities and people relying on her, and as usual, Merit took this in her stride. It’s been under a year since Merit was made a Vampire, and in that time she has been on many hit lists and overcome many battles. She’s professional and damn efficient at her job, and to Ethan’s surprise, she can handle it more than competently. In Biting Cold, we see her ‘badass’ tendencies and gain a slight look into Merit’s vulnerable side, which made her more authentic and exposed, but it didn’t slow her down.
Ethan and Merit are both complex characters, each have learnt something from the other, and their constant back and forth was entertaining, as well as emotional. Ethan was missed in the previous book and now that he’s back, he’s just as much an alpha as before, if not more so. I like Ethan’s character and the frustration between him and Merit was intense, to say the least. It reminded me how much he was missed- yet I still think Jonah is a great addition to the series. Mallory inadvertently tests the security of Ethan and Merit’s relationship and puts a stress on them as a couple. Ethan’s in a difficult position now that he’s suddenly returned from the dead, as Darius’ visit is at an unhelpful time and nobody’s quite sure who the master is.

“For now, with his emerald eyes locked on mine, where I was going didn’t seem so scary.”

Mallory was really annoying me in the previous book, and I was glad that Merit didn’t easily excuse her of the pain she’d caused. I pitied Mallory in Biting Cold, and Chloe Neill did a very good job of keeping her fairly likeable, so I assume her character will be recovered in the next couple of books. The focus turns away from her and more onto other issues with different power plays and creatures such as Claudia- the Fae queen- who Merit encounters more than once.
The plot was engaging, and very entertaining, as new characters join the fray, each with their own funny one-liners. There’s a undertone of humour that lightens the mood and makes it more amusing, especially Merits love for Mallocakes.

“Your Mallocakes may be hard to find.”
“That’s why I packed a box in my duffel bag.”
He burst out laughing like I’d told the funniest joke he’d ever heard, but I’d told the absolute truth. Mallocakes were a favorite dessert—chocolate cakes filled with marshmallow cream—and they were exceedingly hard to find. I’d brought some along just in case.”

I give this 4 Stars

Giveaway of Biting Cold, coming soon!

four-stars

13049260

Review: Other Side Of Forever by Shannon Eckrich

Other Side of Forever by Shannon Eckrich
Published by Self-Published on 24th January 2012
Genres: Paranormal, Romance, Young Adult
Pages: 236
Format: eBook
Source: Given From Author
three-stars

Other Side of Forever

Seventeen-year-old Allie Anderson’s telekinetic powers are anything but useful-she can’t bring her father back, can’t stop her mother’s downward spiral into alcohol, and can’t keep her from falling in love with Ethan Bradley. Loving Ethan is easy, but it comes with a hefty price: Ethan is prohibited by his people from interacting with mortals–because he isn’t mortal himself. When Allie and Ethan’s love is discovered, there’s someone who will do anything to keep them apart. If Allie can’t learn to control her powers and fight to save Ethan, this dark entity will make every attempt to stop her beating heart. And if that happens, not even the energy of an immortal can bring her back.

I’d like to start by saying thank you Shannon for giving me this book to review. The Other Side Of Forever had a very original  premise and if you’re sick of the constant vampire/werewolf books being churned out, I recommend this one. The concept of mortals and immortals was refreshing.
The telekinetic powers attracted me because it was unique; Allie hates her powers and can’t manipulate them easily, she has kept this secret hidden and whenever she gets emotional, her powers get out-of-control. I liked the idea of energy and how she could control certain objects, this made for a more entertaining read. Allie’s problems at home gave her a believable background and many teenagers could relate to this. It also gave another layer to her character and made her more complex. She had a hard time loving Ethan, because she’d gotten hurt before, so at the beginning she pushes him away. This angst was great and I thought the build-up to their first kiss was nicely paced. Sadly, as the book progresses, I thought they fell in love too quickly to be believable as I felt they barely knew each other. This ruined the romance slightly for me, as their professing love for each other seemed a little silly.
The bad guy’s bravado was poor, he didn’t infuse me with fear for the characters, no matter how powerful he supposedly was. The climax at the end was good, especially because I always like a bad guy that has a past and reasons for his actions, but it was a bit of an information dump at the end, and he sounded like a bad cartoon character. 
I had problems with Allie being saved a lot- she was saved by Ethan on numerous occasions. All of those times she didn’t even try to save herself and that bothered me. I realise she is a character a lot of teenage girls would like though, because she is very passive and could be easily related-to, but she was too passive for me. I think this might be deliberate to make her stronger throughout the series, at least I hope so because I liked the twist at the end and it seemed to be the beginning of her character development.
Ethan was a great male character, I can see a lot of girls fangirling over him. He grabbed me from the moment when he simply sat down and read a book- guys reading books are hot. He had a certain type of mystery surrounding him that made him more alluring and his past was an interesting back story.
There was also a strong balance between plot and romance, with puzzling occurrences in the beginning that lead to hair-raising conclusions in the end.
Overall, it was a great debut novel and even though I had some problems, it had characters that were easily related-to, an original premise, and I’m looking forward to the next in the series.

I give this a 3 Stars

three-stars